Everybody 2020, part 5

With the Republicans out of the way, it’s time to tackle the Democrats.

Joseph Biden

The current Vice President of the United States, current President of the Senate of the United States, etc. He hasn’t announced, but I’m listing him here, just because. Will he run? He’s already outpolling three of the five who are, so it might be worth a shot.

Lincoln Chafee

Former Governor of the State Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, former US Senator of the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, Chafee only became a Democrat in 2013, following a time as an Independent, which was preceded by his time as a Republican. In other words, Chafee is a political insect, a holometabolite that began as a pupa and, following cocoonment as an Independent, has emerged a Democrat, eager to flutter around and help pollinate flowering plants, stuff like that. So far, Chafee has not gained much traction in the polls, but maybe he’s counting on the so-called butterfly effect to help create a political tsunami to his advantage. He surely needs it if he’s going to become the nominee.

Hillary Clinton

Miss Teen USA 2007 from Colorado… whoops, clicked the wrong name in Wikipedia: “Hillary (name)”. Awkward.

Ahem. A former Secretary of State, Senator from New York, First Lady of the United States, Clinton is one of the best-known political figures of our modern age, only slightly less-so than Elsa the ice princess or whatever that movie Frozen was about (I haven’t seen it, so no spoilers!). She previously ran for the nomination in 2008, only to be bested by the Current, Two-time, Heavyweight President of the World: Barack Obama! She was the presumptive nominee in 2008, but you know what they say: when you presume, you make a pre-school out of you and me! Ahem. Also, she was First Lady of Arkansas. And she was a visionary, trying to work out health care reform back in 1993, before anyone cared. The nomination is once again Clinton’s to lose, but it’s still early. So far, she appears to only have one major challenger, so there’s that.

Martin O’Malley

Former Governor of Maryland, former Mayor of Baltimore, O’Malley’s rapsheet reads about like a Democrats would. Helped same-sex marriage happen in Maryland in 2012, despite his Catholicism. Opposed capital punishment, repealing it in Maryland in 2013. Pushed and passed gun control. His positions and aspirations don’t surprise, either. But with names like Clinton… With a name like Clinton in the race, it’s not clear if an O’Malley can differentiate himself, can grab the public attention enough to make much hay of himself. Even if he can, it’s a steep hill to climb.

Bernie Sanders

Current US Senator from Vermont, past Congressman from the same, past Mayor of Burlington, VT, Sanders, a self-described democratic socialist, currently holds the second spot in polls behind Clinton. And that’s all him, far as I can tell. It’s him getting his foot in the door. At 75, he’s got a lot of fight in him, and there’s no sign of him relenting. If Clinton has anything to fear so far from this campaign, it’s not her own e-mail. It’s Bernie Sanders. He still has a lot of ground to cover to catch up to Clinton, but if it’s her race to lose, it’s his to win.

Jim Webb

Former Senator from Virginia, former Secretary of the Navy, long-serving Marine, the media considered Webb a possibility for the second seat to Obama in 2008. That didn’t happen, but he’s finally running for president. Webb is something of a moderate, but like Chafee and O’Malley he’s got to prove himself if he’s going to gain much ground. With Clinton the de facto frontrunner, and Sanders positioning himself as the feisty underdog, Webb has a lot of branding to do if he’s going to have a cliche to call his own.


There it is. That’s all the major candidates from the major parties. But that’s not all of the candidates, by any means. Did you know there are something like 200 other, minor Republican and Democratic candidates? And then you get into the minor parties like the Green Party and Libertarian Party and the Constitution Party… A plethora of independent candidates. Some of them even have websites.

But I won’t be writing about all of them. At least not in the 2016 cycle, maybe in 2020…