The 2144 Summer Olympics in Bill Armstrong’s Backyard.

We are just days away from the opening ceremony of the 2144 Summer Olympics, being held in Bill Armstrong’s backyard here in Troy, Michigan, and it should be one for the record books. In what has already become the legendary underdog story of the decade, following the disaster that was the 2128 Summer Olympics, Bill Armstrong thought he could do better, and so he bid to host the 2144 summer games in his own backyard. What started out as an instant-punchline turned into a hero’s stand once the corruption scandal at the International Olympic Committee reached its conclusion: Armstrong won the bid by default when all seven cities were forced to withdraw.

With the help of his wife, Janice, the Troy Chamber of Commerce, and the larger Michigan community of sports fans, Bill has built a 40 000-seat stadium where the barbecue-patio (with fire pit) used to sit, to house the major track-and-field events, while his above-ground leisure pool has been expanded to hold the swimming, diving, and other watersports events. “It’s my show, but a lot of people helped out. The chamber sent over some pizzas, which saved time so we didn’t have to go get food when we were building this giant stadium, and we had a few volunteers drop in to help with turf maintenance, which is always a challenge, as anyone else who has hosted a major sporting event can tell you,” Armstrong said.

Athletes have already begun to arrive and fill out the house, which has gone under extensive renovations to transform it into an Olympic village, catered by Janice and offering 24-hour service of over 200 types of cuisine including high-protein and vegan options. Other amenities include a games room with a selection of board games including Stratego, Risk, and Clue, and a work-out area that includes a vintage Bow-flex and a set of mismatched weights.

Asked whether he thought he could pull it off, Mr. Armstrong said, “I just picked up these bad-boys,” holding up a box of sparklers. “It’s going to be quite a show. I aim to show the world that one suburban family can do it better than all these fancy countries. And when I do, they’ll have to add a new ring to that flag.” On repeating the question to Janice Armstrong, she said, “I don’t know that anyone can host the Olympics, but if anyone can do it, it’s my Bill!”

For promotion and publicity, he turned to a college pal, Emily Lightfoot, who also dated his cousin Lauren briefly during freshman year. Lightfoot has extensive media experience as an influencer and a master’s degree in communication. While the games are taking place within the city limits of Troy, Michigan, they are not being hosted by the city. “Most people don’t know where Bill lives, so he turned to me to get the word out,” Lightfoot explained. She posted a video on the internet showing how to get from city hall all the way over to Bill’s place.

For the past month, the Olympic torch has been making its way from Olympia, Greece, to here in Troy in the traditional relay form. As the final leg of the journey to the opening ceremony, it has been following a repeating circuit around the Armstrong’s neighborhood for the past week. Neighbors have complained that they see the runners with the open flame passing their windows at all hours of the day and night. “Couldn’t they run a longer route? It’s every 20 minutes, I swear!” said Wanda McRuffle, who lives on the corner to the dead-end street. When asked if she planned to attend the games, she replied, “I’m not only going to attend, I’m competing in the Women’s 20 000 millimeter dash! I’m going to bring home gold!”

While the games will move back to a big city for 2148 and beyond, the bids for 2160 are expected to feature new alternatives vying for the slot, including one by an IHOP franchise in Boise, Idaho, and another by an uncontacted tribe in South America (via a proxy).