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Review of Helheim Hassle

Do not try to fuse your limbs together at home, kids.

Helheim Hassle (Perfectly Paranormal: Helheim Hassle) is a metroidvania platformer where you play Bjørn “Bearslayer” Hammerparty, a resurrected viking that can (eventually) detach your limbs and head and recombine them with his torso. Stick two arms together, or an arm and a leg, and jump, climb, and throw his body to solve puzzles. The different combinations have different abilities.

The game is a very chatty. It mixes some Norse mythology with popular online culture and liberal city culture. Some of that got a little stale for me, but the overall story hung together nicely.

The first time I booted the game, Mogdun, the gatekeeper to Helheim (and to the game) made a crack about not using a controller, which I took as a sign the developers really think a controller is best, so I played the whole game with one. That seemed to work fine, though I’m guessing a keyboard would’ve been okay too.

The only weakness in the control scheme was when you have multiple body parts at different places and need to switch to the right one. There may be tricks or tactics to make this easier, but for me there were many many mistakes and I mostly muddled through. In theory, a keyboard would be to have keys 1–6 switch to the specific body parts, but I don’t think this was implemented.

The game is very deliberate about introducing the mechanics, making sure you understand how they work. In different areas, different appendage-pairs or sets tend to work best, and throughout the game the arm–leg alliance seems to be the star (with the head stuck on as needed).

The puzzles weren’t too hard, and the game doesn’t really punish you for failing, which made it an enjoyable time of trial and error. Outside of the highest difficulty of one of the optional game-developer conference games (made to emulate other games; in that case Super Meat Boy), nothing was particularly hard about this one. Just a nice puzzle-platformer.

My only real complaint was that it could have done a better job of letting you know when to go back and collect some of the items from earlier areas. I felt like I played through most of the game before I was comfortable going back to pick up all the hidden bits, mainly because it wasn’t clear when I would have the skills to do so. That meant that I had beat most of the game without the benefit of the powerups, which aren’t too powerful but are helpful.

I spent about 30 hours on Helheim Hassle and got all the achievements. I actually spent a little longer, but that was chasing after some secrets (which I did not end up fully cracking, unfortunately; this was the so-called “mystery of Mount Riverrum”).

I enjoyed my time in this game. It was well-designed and well-executed. The plot hangs together. I’ll probably look into Manual Samuel, a prequel by the same developers, based on my experience here. If you like puzzles, platformers, and metroidvania-type games, you should look at this one.


For those who seek the answers to the mystery, perhaps this will make life easier:

A basic alphabet table showing the Roman alphabet over their pseudo-runic equivalents.
The pseudo-runic alphabet used to hide clues for some unsolved secrets in Helheim Hassle.

Review of Thimbleweed Park

Be sure to check out the arcade, if you can dig up some tokens.

Thimbleweed Park (Wikipedia: “Thimbleweed Park”) is a retro-modern take on the classic graphic adventure game. Made by some of the very people (i.e., Ron Gilbert and Gary Winnick) who made Maniac Mansion (among other games), it is set in a run-down town visited by a pair of FBI agents investigating a murder.

Thimbleweed Park definitely shows the experience of the creators and of the art of adventure game design itself. It is a layered story that shifts from the murder to the characters living in and visiting the town. It is a solidly-built game with some head-scratching to puzzle your way through.

The game features two modes of play: hard and casual. I played through on hard first, and I think that’s the way to go. The casual mode is there if you just want to get through the story, but it’s very much a carved-out version of the harder playthrough.

Besides the no-deaths and puzzle dependency methods, each character has a journal or to-do list that helps the player keep track of what’s on the character’s plate at any point in the game. A lot of thought went in to trying to keep gameplay smooth and not let the player feel too stuck or lost, and I can say that I beat the game without getting any hints. That’s a good signal that the game is well made, as my general record for adventure games is that I eventually break down and get at least a few hints before I beat them. (To be fair to me, most of the time I know the solution and only need guidance on some minute detail about where to click or that I needed to do some non-obvious thing first. Like you can’t butter the bread unless you let the butter soften, or you can’t tie your shoes unless you study a knot-tying book first.)

The game was funded via a Kickstarter campaign, and there are some nice in-game contents that reflect those pledges, including the books in the mansion library and the extensive phonebook of Thimbleweed Park. (There are achievements for reading enough books and calling enough answering machines, but even if you don’t go for those it’s worthwhile to spend some time with the backer-contributed content. Some good stuff there. It would have been nice to have an direct interface to browse through them out of game, possibly after beating the game.)

The phone system does play an in-game role as well. The game-related phone numbers (listed in red in the phonebook) are worth jotting down out-of-game, to save the trouble of getting a character to look at the phonebook if you’re focused on a puzzle or goal.


Thimbleweed Park took me about 19 hours to complete, including all achievements. I like adventure games, and I enjoyed this one. Each one has its own quirks and offers a different take on the genre.

Parts of Thimbleweed Park are a comment commenting on the genre and give the player an overview of the process. Ron Gilbert has written a bit about how he sees adventure game development and what he thinks makes a good one (see Grumpy Gamer, Ron Gilbert’s blog), and this game definitely reflects his philosophy of the genre well.

The parts played as a ghost were a high point for me. I think it’s an underrated aspect of games that let you experience foreign perspectives like that. I had a similar feeling in playing Amnesia: Rebirth (where the player-character is a pregnant woman). The character of Ransome the *beeping* Clown was also a fun addition.

If you like adventure games, this one is worth a spin.

Team Fortress 2: Surviving Bots

Playing Team Fortress 2 takes a certain amount of patience these days.

For some years now, Team Fortress 2‘s casual mode is full of automated clients that cheat. We call them bots. They go by various names, play different classes, have different behaviors, but it’s rare to go more than a match without seeing at least a few.

This post isn’t an attempt to fix the problem, as that’s something only Valve can do. But it is an attempt to help players understand the problem and improve their experience even a little bit.

First of all, what are the types of bots? There have been many names over the years. Different ones in different regions. Some of them go out of style, sometimes there are flashes of new names that don’t stick around. The named bots all have their own styles. Most wear achievement hats, some have a few extra items. Some are worse to deal with than others.

In particular, there are namestealer bots, which change their Steam name to match a real player. They do this by adding characters that aren’t normally visible. The purpose of namestealing is to make them harder to kick and make it more likely that players kick other players accidentally. Due to the lackluster player identification options, it’s easy to make a mistake. (If you do accidentally kick a teammate or vote to kick one, don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault. It’s primarily the people who run bots and secondarily Valve’s failure to fix their game. And if you play enough, a bot will steal your name and you’ll get kicked, too.)

Second of all, what are the types of bots? The most common by far is a Sniper bot. It may or may not spin or look in odd directions, and it will wander around and hit headshots almost all of the time. Some spam noisemakers or voice commands. They throw on an achievement hat. Some wear the Cozy Camper for additional survival. After Sniper, there are Heavy bots. Not a lot to say about them other than their standard Gibus headgear. There are also the occasional Medic and Engineer bots, which are less harmful in comparison to the others, but should still be kicked.

Other bot behaviors of note

Bots will eventually leave on their own. It’s not clear why this happens, but it does. It’s not unusual to see a group of bots all leave at the same time. It’s a sight to behold if you’re one of the only humans on the server, to see it go from infested with bots to a ghost town in no time.

The reasons behind them leaving aren’t known, but possibilities include:

  • Being ordered to go bother a specific server by whoever controls them.
  • Some kind of anti-detection mechanism. (This is doubtful.)
  • An attempt to spread their time bothering more players by not staying in one place too long.

Some bots will try to kick humans. Namestealers will try to kick the person they stole the name from, but some others will try as well. The people who make the bot software have a network service to let them recognize each other, but not all of them use it. The ones that do will avoid killing each other, and will vote against kicking each other, but only in some cases.

The bots that don’t recognize each other, or that only recognize their own subtype, will kill and kick other bots.

Kicking Bots

The best way to deal with bots is to kick them off the server. This requires vigilance, because the bots can vote too, and if enough of them get in a server, they can and will kick real players.

You can use the button on the main menu, or you can bind a key to callvote, which will open the menu if you’re allowed to call a vote and no votes are in progress.

There are some rules to how voting works:

  1. You can’t kick bots on the other team. They have to take care of their own and you of your own.
  2. You can’t call votes for the first two minutes you’re on a server unless you join when the map is starting (or up to 90 seconds thereafter).
  3. You can’t call votes for two minutes after the last one you called.
  4. The client being voted on always votes against being kicked. (As far as I know, this is done by the server.)

Other aspects to voting aren’t as clear. For example, there are times where even proper votes can fail. It’s not clear if that’s due to a bug or an exploit by the bots. The team will make an honest effort to kick and people will vote, but the vote just does not succeed.

On the other side, a majority may not always be necessary. I have seen at least one tie of four-to-four pass in recent memory. Again, not clear whether it’s a bug in the voting, in the display, or what. And while I’ve almost always seen needing four votes in favor of kicking, I’ve seen bots pull it off with a vote of three to two. There is definitely a minimum number of players required to successfully kick. I believe it is a majority of five. But it’s quirky.

If a voter leaves a match or gets autobalanced during a vote, their vote is discarded. There is an exception: a client being voted on can be autobalanced, in which case I believe their vote still stands. (If the vote passes, even though they are now on the other team, they are still kicked.) If someone being voted on leaves, they are automatically kicked.

As long as some clients haven’t voted, the vote will remain active up to its time limit (perhaps 30 seconds). While a vote is in progress, other votes cannot be called. So you should always vote if you can (against if there’s any doubt). (This doesn’t matter too much in practice, because there’s usually at least a few idle players about that hold up the votes.)

Kick namestealers first

It doesn’t do any good if someone accidentally kicks you, so if you see someone that’s stolen your name coming or already on the server, prioritize that player for a kick. (This is the airplane rule about putting your oxygen mask on first.)

After that, you should try to kick namestealers that stole someone else’s name, because bots often vote to kick humans and against kicking bots. The more humans on the server, the better.

Mute the bots

A bot account isn’t going to turn into a real player. And some bots can and will spam either the chat or the voice channel. By muting bots you see, you avoid that the next time you see them. But you also can use it as a lazy metric for deciding who’s a bot and get a general sense of how often you’re seeing the same bots. It’s not perfect, because if you play enough you’ll want to mute some actual people who abuse the communication tools, but those numbers are tiny compared to the number of bots.

For me, at least 80% of the bots I see playing are ones I’ve seen before, based on how often I need to mute bots. I’ll see a new batches come through, but most of the bots are the same accounts over and over. (I haven’t tried to parse the file where mutes are saved to try to get an idea of how many there are. There are some third-party efforts to track bot accounts (and to automate kicking). See Github: PazerOP: tf2 bot detector for Windows, for example.)

Muting bots has a few other useful side effects. Visiting the mute menu does show the player avatars and time-on-server. Both of those can clue you in to which is the real player and which is a namestealer. (There are broken parts of the HUD that are supposed to show avatars on hover ID and on votes. See Github: ValveSoftware: Source-1-Games: issue #2233: “[TF2][Bug] Avatars during vote kick events do not show” for the votes part of that.)

Playing on servers with bots

Sometimes the server is overrun with bots. The easy fix is to quit and requeue, hoping to find a better server. But if you want, you can see what it’s like to live in the Terminator future when killer bots are everywhere.

Some people swear by the Fists of Steel, which give Heavy bullet resistance. Often this is paired with a Medic using the Vaccinator with bullet protection as well. Through teamwork and grit, this combo can keep several bots in check for a whole match.

As I suck at the team part of Team Fortress 2 (and I often find myself alone on servers with bots), I use Soldier or Demoman. My strategy relies on the fact that your explosions can go places where the bots can’t see you. This is more true for Demoman, but depending on the map and where the bots are, you can land some rockets with Soldier, too.

Different maps make killing the bots easier or harder. Maps with less cover make it harder to counter them. You need to find places to hide and spam the explosives at them. (Sniper bots will shoot your sticky bombs, but spamming them will still get damage in over time.)

Why not community servers

Some people advocate for community servers, which is good. In the old days I played on community servers, and I like them. But they aren’t a replacement for Valve servers. Most official maps are available on Valve servers, when there aren’t any community servers running a good portion of them. And you play with a broader set of the world on Valve servers, rather than the limited numbers you’ll see on community servers.

Why it’s up to Valve to solve

Ultimately, this is a problem that can’t be fixed by players. We can only try to get better at kicking bots and making the best of a neglected game. Valve, for whatever reason, hasn’t made this problem a priority. But it will take Valve to end this sad era of Team Fortress 2.

What Valve could do

The most obvious change would be to add a CAPTCHA when clients queue for casual mode. Valve probably views this as an extreme solution, or thinks they would be mocked for doing so. On the other hand, their own feedback form on their own website uses a CAPTCHA to block spam, so maybe they should take a cue from themselves on this one?

There are other things, like reworking Sniper and Heavy to make them less abusable, or implementing some of the tech they use in Counter-Strike to improve the experience there.

But the most important changes are ones I can’t speculate on. I don’t have access to the source code or resources Valve has. What they can do to fix the problem is something they know or can find out. It’s beyond my reach.

Why Valve might not care or might not want to fix the bot problem

I think the ultimate reasons Valve doesn’t fix the problem are simple enough:

  1. They don’t catch enough heat for allowing this problem to fester.
  2. They don’t have what they perceive is a workable solution.

If there were more outcry, they might pick a solution they don’t see as optimal but would still reduce the problem. If they had a better solution available, they would also implement it. But lacking either of those, it’s easy enough for them to ignore the problem.

What Valve could do regardless

Even if they don’t care to, can’t, or don’t want to fix the bot problem, there are still things they could do to make players have a better time. They all center around making it easier to identify and kick bots with less trouble.

  • Fix the avatar bugs mentioned above.
  • Make it harder for bots to namesteal.
  • Allow concurrent votes.
  • Show the opposite team’s votes.
  • Show parties and mutes on the scoreboard.

Making it harder to namesteal

There are several ways to do this, but again it’s Valve’s game.

Disallowing some characters is possible. Or limiting how frequently you can change your Steam profile name. Alternatively they could let you change it as often as you like, but only show the in-game name as your profile name from some time ago.

There are better options, including adding a player number to all in-game activity (think sports jerseys). A non-player-input identifier would remove all ambiguity. The funny thing is that they already have this! It’s just not displayed in the relevant places. It only shows up in the output of the status console command. (This would actually serve other purposes, as well. For example, some people use names that are mostly blank, or are punctuation, or in non-Roman-alphabets that most of the players can’t type. Being able to refer to them by a jersey-number would help all of these cases.)

And, obviously, changing the code so that players can always see the invisible characters that bots use to conceal the differences in their names from the real player. There is at least one HUD that does this: Github: andy013: “votehud custom font” It handles the problem by using a customized typeface that makes those characters visible as boxes.

Allow concurrent votes by both teams

Currently only one vote can be active at a time, so if bots join both teams, only one can be kicked while the other may start causing problems.

Show the opposite team’s votes

It’s common to see an opponent ask for you to kick a bot when the vote’s already started. This would eliminate the question. It would also help in knowing when you can call a vote for a bot on your team, if they can’t allow concurrent votes by both teams.

(If this were added, it would be appropriate to allow people to turn it off if they want less vote noise.)

Show parties and mutes on the scoreboard

When they added the unfortunately-disused competitive system, they also added parties. This lets a group of players join a server together. But there’s no indication of this to others. While this ignorance makes it easier to find yourself getting rolled by a group of well-coordinated opponents, it also makes it easier for bots. Bots can join together. It’s not clear how common it is for them to do this, precisely because there’s no in-game indication!

Knowing that bots are in a party together would make it easier to kick them all. (Whether it would be useful to add a kick-party voting feature is beyond my knowledge.)

Mutes, for those who use them to help track bots and in general, could be shown on the scoreboard. It would make it easier to see if you have anyone muted on joining a game, rather than relying on the mute menu. The mute menu works okay, but it has to be accessed from the main menu, and it doesn’t update as players join and leave the server.


Bots are an added layer of complexity to the game. The bots are a kind of spam. We have to take out the sentry and kick the bots. We have to steal the intelligence and kick the bots. We have to block the cart and kick the bots.

Valve should respect their customers and themselves by fixing the problem to the best of their ability. Their neglect and lack of communication speaks quite loudly against their reputation. That is key: you should blame the people who make and maintain the bots, but you also should blame Valve for failing to take ongoing action about the problem.

Valve has taken steps in the past to make things better, and hopefully they will give it more effort in the future. The mute and vote dialogs used to be barer, without avatars or time-on-server included, for example. Most bots are on free-to-play accounts, which are no longer allowed to chat (a double-edged sword, as new players can’t chat either). Whether Valve has more updates planned to help isn’t clear. Only time will tell.

But until then, keep kicking the bots! F1! Wait, no! F2! Wrong one, that’s me! Bye! Disconnected.