Brain Dirt.

The notion of brainwashing needs its counterpart—its antidote. Brain dirt is the answer to brainwashing. Have you been fed lies? Had your mind wiped by fascists? You need to get the brain dirty again. That’s where brain dirt comes in.

What is brain dirt? It’s not one thing. It’s not the monoculture of lies spewed on FOX News and other right-wing media. It’s many things, just like real dirt is many things. Real dirt is so good for plants because it lets water through to the roots, it provides nutrients, it’s a whole ecosystem of bacteria and fungi and other life—a microbiome.

Brainwashing is a form of ecocide. It deprives the brain of a healthy microbiome of ideas, replacing them with a bland monoculture that is meant to keep the brain under the control of the invading culture. If you feel you may be under the influence of brainwashing, get some brain dirt, and fast!

Where can you get this brain dirt? Right here. Over there. Up in the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a bird flying a plane! Brain dirt!

How do you use brain dirt? Simply immerse the brain in the brain dirt. One popular method is to sprinkle the brain dirt over the brain, and the brain will naturally absorb the dirt. Let it roll around or whatever the brain does up in the skull when we aren’t looking at it through the brainscope. Excess brain dirt is no problem, as it naturally drains into the gut and is digested through the normal intestinal processes.

Can I use too much brain dirt? You didn’t read the last sentence of the previous paragraph.

What happens if the brain gets too dirty? Come on, guy. It’s two paragraphs ago at this point.

Can I borrow some brain dirt? You just have. That’s what this article is. It’s even called “Brain Dirt.”

What sorts of brainwashing can brain dirt resolve? All.

I’ve heard that some people are immune to brain dirt, beyond salvation? I doubt it. It may be harder to get people to eat their brain dirt, or their brains may be extremely washed, but that doesn’t make them immune. Some are just picky eaters. If they won’t eat it, sometimes you can sing it to them. If they hate music, sometimes you have to embed the brain dirt in mathematical word-problems and let them ingest it that way. ‘There are many forms of brain dirt in my father’s house,’ said (sayeth) the Rabbi Jesus. (Wikisource: Bible (Early Wycliffe): Joon XIIII:2–3)

But others have strong reasons. Upton Sinclair used to tell his audiences, ‘It is difficult to get a man to eat his braindirt, when his salary depends on his being brainwashed!’ (Wikiquote: Upton Sinclair) In those cases, your best bet is to turn their brainwashing into more brain dirt for others. Sometimes this has a feedback effect of helping to braindirty the brainwashed source.

How can I tell if I have been brainwashed? Do you think I have all the answers? Do you think you have all the answers? Do you think anyone has all the questions, even? Absolutism of any form tends to be a good sign of being brainwashed. Absolutism is when you think anything has got it all figured out, and all that’s needed is a bunch of violence to install your chosen solution by force. That’s how brainwashing works, and it’s what it does. It presents violence and other coercive methods as justified by the fact someone or something knows all and yet it needs the violence to clear the way for the one true way to be installed.

Being brainwashed doesn’t mean everything else is true, but the brainwash is all lies. Brain dirt isn’t a source of truth, but only an antidote to the lies. If you want truth, you’ll have to build it from scratch like everyone else. You’ll have to go learn set theory and logical notations and all that jazz. Is that what you want? I’ll settle for not being brainwashed and only a vague notion of set theory, but if you want all that, go to it!

How much does brain dirt cost? You can certainly pay for it, but it’s free.

How does brain dirt work? Brainwashing occurs when the personal culture and its natural shifts over time become overridden by some kind of authority that seeks for certain unnatural values to be held, like a rigid adherence to a demonstrated liar (one Donald John Trump). Brain dirt counteracts this by recreating the natural internal culture we are all born with and most of us maintain until our natural deaths.

For example, if the brainwash says, “Four legs good, two legs bad,” (George Orwell, Animal Farm), brain dirt says, “Counting legs is no basis for judging leadership. Like in other areas, the people should seek some sort of independent and controlled demonstration of ability, not rely on hearsay and conjecture and puffery! Also, E-I-E-I-O!”

Anything else? The article is done. Go find some other brain dirt. If you have brain dirt tips or dirt to share, drop them in the comments, or wherever you want. I wrote enough about brain dirt up there. If you want to read more about brain dirt, scroll up and read back down again. I won’t stop you. Here: a link to the top so you can read about brain dirt all over again.