Happy 2018’s Nearly Done For

There’s a lot of bad stuff going on with the government I could write about now. Nope. There’s a little good, too. Shoutout to passing an anti-lynching law at least a century late. Shoutout to federal sentencing reform.

But I’ve been messing about with Blender. I made a picture. It’s a an ugly Christmas sweater, sans sweater, I s’pose, but hey, at least it’s got some color to it.

There are many things wrong with this image (see if you can spot them all), but at least I learned a little.

See all you oddballs in the next odd year*!

* Assuming I can resist writing a post next week.


Image text reads: Happy Holidays, Feliz Navidad, Merry Christmas.
Jolly tidings and such.

Donny Filled Up the Swamp (or: For Lulz)

(To the tune of “When Johnny Comes Marching Home.” (Wikipedia: “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”))

They all voted for Donald Trump
For lulz, for lulz
They all chanted out “Lock her up!”
For lulz, hurr durr
They all voted for Donald Trump
To give the lib-ruls a big ol’ thump
But they all got trolled hard
Donny filled up the swamp.

They said he gonna build the wall
For lulz, for lulz
They said he gonna stop ’em all
For lulz, for lulz
They said he gonna build the wall
It couldn’t stop a tennis ball
They all got trolled hard
Donny filled up the swamp.

They thought when he got to Beijing
For lulz, for lulz
They heard trade wars are easy wins
For lulz, hurr durr
They thought when he got to Beijing
China would be their new plaything
And they all got trolled hard
Donny filled up the swamp.

The rich got tax cuts to the bone
For lulz, for lulz
The debt shoots up to the ozone
For lulz, for lulz
The rich got tax cuts to the bone
And now the country’s rent-to-own
See they all got trolled hard
Donny filled up the swamp.

They said Muslims ain’t welcome here
For lulz, for lulz
They said it with a racist sneer
For lulz, hurr durr
They said Muslims ain’t welcome here
But lied in court when they appeared
Well they all got trolled hard
Donny filled up the swamp.

The dictators are gaining ground
For lulz, for lulz
Killing reformers the whole world round
For lulz, for lulz
The dictators are gaining ground
While Donny’s spine, it cain’t be found
They all got trolled hard
Donny filled up the swamp.

The hurricanes done gotten worse
For lulz, for lulz
The Koch Brothers sponsored this verse
For lulz, hurr durr
The hurricanes done gotten worse
The mercury’s fixin’ to burst
They all got trolled hard
Donny filled up the swamp.

Donald Trump—the man’s a fraud
For lulz, for lulz
And money is his only god
For lulz, for lulz
Donald Trump—the man’s a fraud
Fred spoiled the child to spare the rod
How they all got trolled hard
Donny filled up the swamp.


The election is two weeks away.
Remember, voting in elections where fewer people vote gives you more power. It’s the nitrous boost of voting.

How the Republican Healthcare Mess Makes Sense

Edit: As of Friday afternoon, Sens. McCain (hard no) and Collins (somewhere shy of hard no) have announced opposition, stalling the measure. Let’s hope it stays that way, and that both parties can work on a real plan to improve the healthcare system.

The blade is not yet to the throat, nor the gun to the temple, but by next Friday (or maybe Saturday) America may be in the middle of its biggest hostage crisis of the modern age. The Republicans, in a greedlust for victory on healthcare, are sneaking up behind the country, ready to strike.

The bill, a stinker in a long line of stinkers, will be not a millstone around the GOP’s neck, but a tombstone at its feet, if it ever activates. But that’s not what it’s meant to be at all. This timebomb is DACA 2.0: meant to bend Democrats to the Republicans’ will. Under the president’s DACA order, the hostages are the dreamers. Under Graham-Cassidy, the hostages are the millions who will lose coverage obtained under the ACA.

The notion that the American people are subject to political violence is hardly new or surprising, but it is a heartless and despicable fact. The Republicans want massive wealthcare, but they also want to undo all the things in the ACA they cannot touch under reconciliation rules. This is not serious legislation at all, by any measure. It has not benefited from study or debate, or even from a full CBO score. Governors oppose it, all the medical associations and nonpartisan nonprofits say no.

The only thing that’s left is a hostage play. For the low, low price of 50 votes, the Senate Republicans can shove this mess back to the House, where if the Republicans there can decide to wax their mustaches, they will hold the threat of death over enough Americans that the Democrats will have to cave in. That will, they believe, let them pass a 60-vote bill in the Senate, which will be less insane than Graham-Cassidy, will let them do a victory lap for repealing Obamacare, and will still let them shove a bunch of money in the rich peoples’ pockets.

This sort of abuse is irredeemable. There are millions of people who are stressed and anxious, as hostages to the GOP. This is nothing short of protection racketeering by a major political party on behalf of the wealthy. This is organized crime.

And sadly, that’s the only way this mess of a bill makes sense. All civic-minded Republicans should reject any attempt to hold their countrymen as hostages for legislative ends. A vote for Graham-Cassidy is a vote for tyranny.

Pause 2.0

This is going to take some time. Please continue to be patient.

Post images will continue to be missing for now. Theme will be abnormal. “All is calm, all is bright…”

2016 DNC Preview, RNC Review: The Republicans Went Vegetarian

Sure, there was lots of red meat at this convention, but there was no beef. This election cycle the Republicans have gone full vegetarian, substituting hate for what used to pass as red meat.

There was hatred of Hillary Clinton. A typical convention would treat the crowds to plenty of vitriol against a candidate through an assault on their policy proposals. They want to fund the IRS or whatever. Instead, the assaults to Clinton focus on trumped-up scandals like Benghazi. They’re snakeoil-level with this stuff, as I actually encountered an advertisement for fermented wheat germ extract that claimed that Hillary Clinton is involved in a conspiracy with Big Pharma that kills 100,000 people per year (“If you want to keep your teeth for good, you better throw away your toothpaste!”).

There was hatred of Black Lives Matter, a movement whose main goal is the reduction of the number of people killed by police. Again, the fake meat here is the fact that it’s all taste-and-texture attacks, focused not on why policy recommendations might be problematic, but on how awful people are for wanting to not get shot by cops and daring to say something about it.

There was hatred of people who unlawfully immigrate, with a focus on the worst-of-the-worst as proxy for all. The reality is that there are millions of people who work hard for low wages, both immigrants and citizens, and the policies the Republicans support do nothing for any of them. Crime is a separate issue from immigration, and to conflate the two is as contrived as can be.

Fake and disgusting dish after dish of food-colored-red tofu. Grilled to abjection. Smothered in a secret sauce, by the nominee, where he insanely promised lower taxes, debt reduction, higher wages, and massive infrastructure spending, all immediately.


Hillary Clinton also announced her running mate ahead of the convention, which is one fewer thing to make news during the convention. Regardless, one expects a much cleaner show from the Democrats than the Republicans managed, but there could still be some fireworks.

For one, we will see how much beef the Democrats bring, versus how much meat analogue. Will the convention be as anti-Trump as the RNC was anti-Hillary, or will the focus be on governance?

For another, while there was a formal Never Trump movement, there was also a Not Hillary movement from the Bernie Sanders side of the party. That activist-heavy wing may actually teach the Republican insurgents a thing or two.

Instead of the ‘Make America _____ Again’ themes, the Democrats have ‘________ Together’ (except for Tuesday, which will be “A Lifetime of Fighting for Children and Families”—I guess ‘Fighting Together’ wasn’t deemed worthy?), and we’ll see if they can actually stay on message.

Other things to watch for:

  • Hillary Clinton will be sitting in at the hotsauce dunking booth from 10-2 each morning, as penance for her email mishap; tickets start at $2K for three balls
  • Judicial Watch immediately granted a motion to depose Tim Kaine for information about Hillary Clinton’s use of email as Secretary of State
  • Bill Clinton under fire after plagiarizing part of his speech from My Little Pony
  • Confetti (made of shredded emails) and balloons